Just Broken
by Celestial DreamBlaze
Summary: He's lonely, for so long he had gone without love and now... when he had the best thing that could ever happen to him, he let it slip past him. Let her fall in love with someone else. He wants love but how can he?


I can see it now… once you find out who the main character is you'll click the back button. I wrote this story because I realized I still luv him and it doesn't matter how he was. Please, give him a chance. Read the manga, he's much more caring than the anime. I'm sorry if I have given cause for you to hate me all because I wrote this. 

You could say this is a part sequel to You Brighten up my life.

Just Broken

~Celestial DreamBlaze

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He frowned, why did everything have to turn so badly in his life? He had thought he had found a good thing, had thought that life would turn for the better but… but he had to go and muck it up.

As usual.

He had dumped the 'love of his life,' his soul mate all for faults that could have easily been rectified had he had the patience to help her with her faults. He cursed himself for his unusual impatience. It was just, as much as he loved her, he couldn't put up with those faults. It was so hard to break up with her, to see her face crumble in tears. But he knew she had to grow up, and if it had to be in the most painful form, then so be it. He had broken up with her, it was not one of his proudest moments but he knew it was for the better. Even if it tore at _his_ heart. 

Mamoru watched as his girlfriend walked away with _her_ true soul mate.

He truly regretted his acts. Recalling all the times Usagi had been there for him, no questions asked, she was just there helping her along.

It all came down to a matter of trust. He had been scared to give his heart to someone. He knew Usagi would be the perfect candidate but something in him hesitated, feared the feeling of being vulnerable again. 

Long ago, when his parents died and he was alone in the world, he had closed all forms of feeling, fearing that painful loneliness again. He could recall that ache with such clarity that it clenched at his heart. He knew that if he gave his heart away and it was lost there'd be nothing for him. Nothing. Everything was already gone in his life. 

Tears threatened to break as he continued to watch the only one he truly cared about disappear in the distance. Forcing the half torn wall back up to repair itself he turns in the other direction. He needed to drown his sorrows in chocolate.

Mamoru sat morose in bed. It had been weeks, now with Usagi truly out of his grasp he didn't know what he'd do. He remembered so many times he had done something stupid and Usagi always came back with open arms. He was a fool to think that she'd come back the third or fourth time around. The man could feel tears swell and he cursed, he never cried. _Never_. He got up from bed, his chest bare as his muscles slightly rippled. 

Walking to the living room, he recalled fond memories of Usagi.

~Flashback~

Giggles could be heard in the room as a book lay forgotten on the coffee table and the stoic emotionless university student was smiling mischievously as he tickled his girlfriend mercilessly. 

":giggles: Mamo- :giggle: chan! Stop :giggle: I promise not to :giggle: steal your choc- :giggle: -olate stash again!" 

Satisfied with her promise yet knowing she wouldn't abide by it he let Usagi go.

"Now Usako," he warned, his eyes smiling as his raven locks fell over them. "You promise not to eat my French imported chocolates?"

Innocent eyes look back at him as she answered solemnly. "Yes Mamo-chan." He never did know she had crossed her fingers behind her back.

"Good." With a quick smack to her lips, Mamoru got up from over Usagi and picked up his Quantum Physics book to continue his studies. 

Behind him Usagi had frowned, the point of eating his chocolates was to get him to relax, not revert to that stuffy upper classmen that thought he was high and noble. Mamoru was a nice guy, if you got passed that outer shell of his that was a mile thick. She sighed and brushed his hair in a soothing manner that relaxed him completely, waiting silently for him to finish studying, sometimes lasting through the night.

~End Flashback~

He smiled fondly at the precious memory; Usagi had soothed him during those stressful days of Midterm exams. He shook his head regretfully as he only now noticed her motives for being so silly. To get him to loosen up, he was grateful, though he had ignored her while he studied, she was still there, being his constant support and never having said a word about it. How could he say that she was immature? She was the most mature person he'd ever met, she knew when it was appropriate to smile, to love, to appreciate life and knew when it was time to be serious, to care for what was wrong. Like she had done for him. 

Mamoru smiled, though a bit painfully, he could now see that that boy Hiiro had taken her out of that shell she hid herself in. Usagi was an insecure girl, never showing her true self for fear no one would ever accept her. That was why she never cared much for her childish act, because she knew it wasn't her, but when those moments of love, caring, and compassion came forth, he had known this was the true soul shining in her. The one that yearned to be let out. Mamoru could see that it wasn't him that was meant to let her out.

He quit skulking; knowing Usagi wouldn't want him this way. For Usagi, he would try to be like her, the most courageous person he's ever known. He'll try to open up no matter the risk of hurt, the risk of loneliness.

Getting dressed in a black turtleneck and slacks he then donned his green blazer that Usagi would often remark as 'an ugly abomination to blazers,' he chuckled as he remembered her face going red with indignation when he commented that she knew what 'abomination' had meant. 

Everywhere there held memories of Usagi, and if Mamoru wanted to live he had to accept it and keep it in the past. Where it would stay. 

He walked into the Crown Game Center where the place had suddenly gone silent. It seemed today was a slow day and the whole senshi and Usagi's boyfriend and company was there. He started uncomfortably as the senshi stared angrily at them. Mamoru quickly made his way to Motoki who sat behind the counter cleaning cups. 

Motoki, as usual beamed, his green eyes glad to see Mamoru. "Hey buddy! Finally you've gotten out of that hole you call home."

Mamoru flashed Motoki a grin, the man never failed to lighten his spirits. He was lucky to have such a good and forgiving friend like him. Mamoru tensed, he felt a light hand rest at his arm and he knew without a doubt it was Usagi. 

Usagi sat at the stool next to him, giving him a sincere smile. "Mamo-chan, how are you?"

Mamoru eyes widened in surprise, she was calling him that? After all he had done?

Understanding his shock she elaborated with honesty. "I realized, Mamo-chan, that you are still my friend. One of my best friends and I will not let past mistakes haunt us and hinder that friendship."

Mamoru smiled fondly, again remarking how brave Usagi was to say this. "Usako," he started, letting the name roll of his tongue once again, a spark of happiness in his heart. "I realize that too. I'm glad that you're still willing to be my friend." 

It was then that Usagi flashed her mega-watt smiled and in true Usagi fashion, dragged her friend to sit at their table, which had been silent as they watched the all too friendly account. Too friendly in some of the senshi's opinion.

Usagi plopped down next to Hiiro, forcing Mamoru to sit on the other side of her. Never noting the weird situation, everyone thought, of having current and ex boyfriend sit between her. Ignoring the looks, she introduced Mamoru to the boys. "Hii-kun, Fei-kun, D-kun, Q-kun, and Tro-kun, this is one of my _best_," she threw a quick look to the tense senshi as she stressed 'best,' "friend, Chiba Mamoru. Mamo-chan," everyone had tensed in that endearing nickname, she didn't call any other guys with the suffix of –chan (hint hint), "this is Hii-kun, "Fei-kun, D-kun, Q-kun, and Tro-kun." She introduced, pointing to the person as she said their name. 

Uncomfortable at all the eyes on him he managed a small nod and spluttered, "nice to meet you."

"Well it's not nice to me—"

"Ruka," Usagi whined, not wanting a fight to break out, "please be civil."

Haruka growled, still glaring at the man who hurt her Koneko-chan but settled at the jab to her elbow by an admonishing Michiru. But if he thinks, she thought furiously, that he has a chance to hurt her again he'll find a sword to his throat. Satisfied with her thoughts, she calmed down glaring smugly at the nervous Mamoru who seemed to have read her thoughts as he had grasped his neck unconsciously.

The group was quiet, not knowing what to say with the unwanted guest present, they could still feel Usagi's sting as they had helped her get over her depression.

Mamoru watched sadly, and bent his head a little. It seemed he would never belong. Anywhere. Getting up, he bowed to them. "I'm sorry, I have studies to get to. It was nice meeting you boys and nice seeing you girls again."

He quickly left, and Usagi watched him go sadly. She hated seeing him like this, he was never one who was able to speak so companionably with crowds. She got up to go to him but Hiiro held her back, glancing confused, understanding dawned as he shook his head.

It would be something he had to cope alone. Something he'd have to learn himself.

Someone had thought otherwise, he could still feel the pang in his heart as Mamoru had looked sadly at everyone. A feeling of detached misery and loneliness and the man's helpless gaze seemed to expand and reach his very heart. 

He stood up to go after him. "I just remembered something guys. I'll see you later."

Everyone frowned at the quick disappearance of their friend. Where was he going?

"Mamoru-san wait!" 

Mamoru turned, his tall frame hunched over as he looked to the approaching figure, politely he asked, "is there anything wrong?" He wondered what the boy was up to.

"Nothing, just wanting to see if you wanted company."

Mamoru's eyes stared in surprise, a friend of his ex-girlfriends boyfriend wanted to talk to _him_? What was the deal? His eyes stared suspiciously as he looked for any deceit in the younger man's face. Not knowing what to say or do, he replied simply, "sure." Something in his heart thud, it beat loudly as his ears as he wondered why the man wanted to be with him instead of his great friends in the game center.

His thoughts turned sad as he recalled the uncomfortable event. Usagi's offer had been so… he couldn't find a word for it. All he knew was that in that moment he wanted so badly to fit in. To be apart of the Senshi's, the people he had come to call friend, lives again. 

"It hurts to think that you're alone ne?"

Again, for the second time, Mamoru stared in surprise. That had been his next thought. The man's eyes held his knowingly, understanding etched in his face.

The boy sighed wistfully as he recalled pained memories, "I can still remember the death of my family. When it had happened, I had thought that was it, that I would never fit into this world again, and that it hurt to be living for I had nothing to live for. Then something gave me a purpose, a way to retaliate against those who had wronged me."

The man's eyes widened in surprise at revealing such intimate thoughts. He didn't even know the black haired man but he knew it seemed to be the fitting thing to say. His heart felt lighter though, knowing that a part of his pain had released with each word he spoke. He only hoped he hadn't been so cruel, wanting revenge like that. He shook his head. 

"I'm sorry, I got caught up in memories."

"It can be killers huh?" Mamoru asked wryly, the man's earlier statement somewhat touching him to the core. He had never thought anyone would understand, would know how it felt, but he knew the man spoke the truth, there was such pain in his eyes that Mamoru couldn't help but want him to feel better. 

He frowned at his thoughts, was it right to become friends with his ex girlfriends boyfriend?

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Again, don't hate Mamoru, I'm not telling you who to like but to _please_ think objectively. You forgave Hiiro when he was a murderer (don't throw tomatoes at me! I love him too!) You love Sesshoumaru when he is a cold-hearted bastard. You love Wufei despite his sexist comments but you can't love Mamoru? Just because he broke Usagi's heart? (She's my fave char too… my ultimate okay?) I'm just thinking objectively and unbiased. Again, I hope you don't hate me but I do hope you guys think. Mamoru isn't that bad. 

Just broken.

I won't bother to give you the last part of the chapter if no one is interested. I honestly believe Mamoru can be a nice guy… I mean, Usagi fell in love with him, she has a good sense of judgment even if its somewhat misguided and they fell out of love because they weren't suited for each other. Can you honestly believe that a girl could so quickly change a long lifestyle after how many years of solitude and pain? Albeit, the person is Usagi but still, she just wasn't the _one_. 

Much mahal n mahaloz

~Celestial DreamBlaze


End file.
